Oh wow, my Junior year is coming to an end. Time really does fly. This isn't the first time I've had a blog, in fact my old one is still up. AHA I just paused this to read my old blog. [
http://xanga.com/kookycrayon ] DUDE It's from like two years ago. Actually, it's from more than two years ago maybe even three. What a shame, two years of my life is going to be unrecorded. I'll try to do a recap of the two years another day.
Honestly, I really don't know what to blog about today, and I made this because I think memories are the most important things in one's life. I feel like ranting, but it would probably be a bad sign if I started my blog with something bad. Oh I know! I should reflect upon this year. Well not the year, but the school year.
Let's see....
School started in September, and I was still dating Vincent. Wait, actually this was the month where he left for San Diego [Sept 18th, 2007]. So... we were dating, but this was the month where we also decided to break up [Sept 17th, 2007]. Sad times.... Honestly I think that's the most I've ever cried in one sitting. Soon after I started to get into water polo, and became really close to the team. REALLY close. Around the end of the season I began to start liking the Bambi of the team, Nick. Apparently I was "leading him on" according to him, but I actually did like him. Things just happened at a very bad time. The night where we all slept over at Tuna's I was talking, and I was stuck whether or not it was time to move on. It was also that night where I checked my email to find out that Vincent's Grandpa died. Of course I had to call to check on him. With that, I realized that I really wasn't over him. Sorry Nick... This season seemed really long for some reason. A lot of things happened. I know I was really involved with Interact already. I should also mention how this was also around the time where I noticed John. Just a side note. :P
I think I'm going to go by sport seasons, it's a lot easier to remember things. After water polo there was tournament season for Judo, and I needed to drop down to 105 pounds. That is how I got into wrestling. I was actually interested in joining wrestling, but Vincent talked me out of it and we agreed to only practice until I dropped my weight. Another reason why I quit was because Coach Luna told me to choose between Judo and wrestling and that wrestling would drastically change the way I did Judo. Although I did quit wrestling, I was still enthusiastic about all the wrestling events. I like to think of myself as Silver Creek Wrestling Team's biggest fan. I made posters for almost every home meet and some away, and never missed a dual meet. I did everything for the team, but I also had a hidden motive; get to know John Tran. I bet no one remembers, but I brought Vincent to the first away duel meet against Independence just so he could see who might be replacing him. Vincent was like a best friend at the time [I convinced myself that he was so I could get over him and not have things become awkward] so I told him everything. He told me to go for it, and seriously that made me a little sad but at the same time made me man up. The sad thing was that I didn't man up until February. February came and so did Valentines day. That day made me proud of my creativity, and I was positive that John would be mine. Sadly a few weeks later I finally brought it up after not getting a response, and guess what? He told me that he "wasn't ready for a relationship yet." The yet gave me hope, but at the same time really made me bummed. I believe that Vincent got with Patty around this time as well? Possibly even before. I really should start a new paragraph for what's coming next.
This isn't a season but I think there's enough information to have it's own paragraph. So as many know, Vincent and I broke up the September of 2007. We still talked on the phone from time to time to check up on each other and I even spent New Years with him when I had no where else to go [In fact I didn't get Billy's sunrise invitational until I came back from Vincent's house]. But now Vincent had found someone new; Patricia or Patty. Although I was over him, this still got me bummed. I was finally getting replaced. It wasn't as if I didn't see it coming though. Like how I told him about John, he told me about Patty. During winter break, he told me a lot about her and was even texting her when I was around. I was fine with things when he came to visit, but during spring break she had been his girlfriend and I hated myself because he still came to visit me. Having him visit made me feel like I was apart of his affair or something, and I don't think I could ever live with that. Plus, I liked John and I would hate myself even more knowing that I could be hurting him. So when Vincent came to visit I unintentionally acted cold to him, like if I acted nice to him then one thing would lead to another. Since he knows me better than I do, he saw through my act and confronted me. He reassured me and said that although there's someone new in his life that I would always have a place in his heart. That made me hate him a little more because that made it really difficult to get over him. In fact I think I even told him that. Man that week was super depressing. Like he was right there in front of me after so many months, but it would be wrong to hug or kiss him as if we were still together. Honestly, I wasn't over him at that point. We both knew that we weren't over each other, so on the night of February 24th we decided to end all ties with each other. No more talking, no more texting, no more "I love you." I thought I was over him, yet once we said our goodbyes officially, I honestly thought I couldn't stop crying. Actually that happened before Spring Break which added more tension. This happened a couple of days after winter break when I saw him off at the airport. ENOUGH WITH VINCENT. That was the past. I was saying a lot of things so I could look back at my high school years. Time for the John half of my year.
So as I've said before, John turned me down and I was devastated. Although I was brought down, I made sure that it didn't seem like it around John. After all that, things would have been awkward, and I absolutely hate awkward situations. After the whole Vincent thing, I decided to take up a new philosophy; "Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love." -Leo Buscaglia. That's what I told myself almost every time I became sad, and the situation was perfect for this quote. If I continued to be depressed, then I probably wouldn't be John's girlfriend now [Oh no a spoiler!]. It's a good thing too, because soon after John asked me out to Junior Prom. He did it in front of most of the swim team and had the help from a lot of the track babies. If you were there, you would've seen how cute it was. Junior Prom was amazingly fun, and in fact I think it was more fun than Vincent's senior prom. We took pictures, ate dinner, danced, and bowled with the wrestling team Juniors, oh and during one of the slow dances John asked "Carolyn... would you be mine?" [APRIL 5h, 2008!] It was super cute. If you haven't noticed, this is happening during swim season. :P
Now swim season is officially over, but there were a lot of over fun and exciting things. Like Euphoria, ASB's fashion show. That was a blast. I was at practice the whole day, but it was worth it, because I don't think I'll forget it. O I am also now the president of Interact, and plan on running for District Council as Area 8 rep or Historian. Next year I won't be the GSA president for the third time in a row, but decided to step down to treasurer because I also plan on taking over martial arts club. OH OH! I'm leaving for Japan in 7 days! How exciting is that?
Before I end this, I want to say one last thing. John I hope you're reading this. Well, I'm sorry for being a bad girlfriend so far. It seems like we're not talking a lot, but I think I'm a little hesitant in falling in love again. I apologize for that, and I'm going to man up to get over my fears. So... as soon as we're both not busy I would like to get to know you a lot better. Would you be interested in talking on the phone at night? I'm only asking because I don't want to interfere with your studies. In fact that's been holding me back most of the time, because I don't want to become a distraction from your sports and academics. Bring it up if you read this? I hope I didn't give the impression that I didn't like you.
